Parenting: An unconventional wisdom

“Yelling silences your message. Speak quietly so your children can hear you instead of just your voice. –L.R. Knost

Raising an emotionally healthy child is a tremendous task, yet satisfying and rewarding a feeling of contentment while on the other hand quiet exasperating for many dedicated parents.

There are various factors contributing to raising an emotionally healthy child. Parents face accelerating challenges while juggling between responsibilities of different roles in Personal, Professional and Social lives, to build a strong “Parent-child relationship” but is it working?

To be able to bond with a child we must have a clear understanding of factors that are of great significance in their growth and development. Communication is one such important skill through which parents foster other necessary skills. In the process children develop their identity, individuality, confidence, and self-worth.

In every conversation we pass subliminal messages through our body language. We largely aim at conveying certain fixed expectations and sometimes we stay with stereotypes. Analysing the mind whether it is “Mind full” or “Mindful” aids to a great extent in bonding. Connecting to oneself and approaching children with a presence of mind builds healthy relationship. The way in which you reward your child’s response speaks volumes of the relationship you share. It also mirrors their personality as “Children often hear and understand the unspoken words as they seldom listen to you but never fail to imitate you”.

The best example is The Swedish KED programme which holds an exclusive educational vision and mission. Kunskapsskolan Bengaluru like the other KED schools firmly believes that every child is unique. Children are different not just by looks but also by their abilities. Therefore it creates an exceptional environment for holistic development of every individual child. Catering to different levels of children the education plan is child centric as differentiated learning can happen only with differentiated teaching. This is solely possible due to careful guidance and facilitation administered by handpicked experts for the job.

Furthermore the act of continuous comprehensive feed forward practices of Kunskapsskolan raises praiseworthy and meritorious results. This proves the fact that success in upbringing a healthy child can happen only with the mindful involvement of teachers and most importantly “Parents”.

One such confessions affirm by Upma Bhatnagar- Coordinator and a Parent at Kunskapsskolan Bengaluru “The influence of Ked Programme that affected my personal life and professional life is intense; it has helped me to communicate with my students through open ended questions which in turn helped every learner  to challenge their own potential. The experience is very satisfying as I see children growing intellectually, emotionally and socially”.

Here are a few suggestions to start with that can help you establish a healthy bond:

  • Eye to eye contact –such conversations helps in building trust.
  • Facial expressions- provide affirmation, help in developing confidence and improve socio-emotional skills.
  • Pretend Play- switching roles with your kids as he/she plays “Parent”, “Teacher”, “Doctor” etc. will help you understand your child’s Likes/Dislikes, Interests, and most importantly their expectations.
  • Using statements with pluralistic approach such as “Let’s understand”, “Let’s work this together”, “we can also do it this way” provides proper guidance and raises the child’s self-worth.
  • Limit or omit negative connotations such as “Never”, “No”, “Not possible” to build self-esteem.
  • Observe your child keenly to understand them while spending quality time without any gadgets or any other disturbances to develop independence and self-confidence.

-Jaceleen
School Counsellor Kunskapsskolan Bengaluru

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